I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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