THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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