Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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