I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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