I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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