Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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