she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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