You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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