it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
