Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
