im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dear god my vagina.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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