Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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