the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
