I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
