Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
