not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
