I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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