As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
