my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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