I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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