I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
