So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
