guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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