we have officially lost it.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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