Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
