i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
not ubering you a puppy
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
