I just pynch a tree in the face
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
