So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
