I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize