I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
