I think I won the penis lottery.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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