Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
