i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
