Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The best revenge is premature balding
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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