what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
