sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
