woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
