A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
