We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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