11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
