Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
