problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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