He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
