I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
