Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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