physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
