I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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