im drinking this country out of the recession.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
being pregnant is like rehab
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
