so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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