And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
