i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My dick has a subreddit
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
