Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
