Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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