I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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