two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
