i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My life is pants optional.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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