used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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