I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
