i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
