i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
